Bless.

This morning, I came to and looked over to find M quietly chuckling to himself in his sleep.

What a lovely way to wake up.

x

This morning...

...the following came wafting across the duvet.

"Did you know she was a lesbian?"

I suppose I should explain...

...as I probably haven't made it clear that I don't actually lie awake all night, waiting for M to talk weird in his sleep. What actually happens is that I get up about an hour before he does during the week, and it is during that hour, while I am pottering about getting ready for work, that he does the weird talking.

So. Now you know.

This morning:

"It's a jerk off though." (NB He was in bed by himself at this point...)

"I'm sorry?"

"Ch... chicken..."

?

He's back!

So he's back from holiday, and this morning I was treated to the usual sleepy waffle that I have grown to love so much.

"Thunderpants."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I'm half-asleep. I mean UNDER-pants."

What? What does he mean? WHAT DOES HE MEAN? It was 7am! Neither of us were getting up! We were in bed!

I get so confused...

Wasp

"You look like a wasp".

Pardon?

"You, you look like a wasp. Waspish."

I guess this was because I was wearing a yellow vest and black trousers (not my best ever combination, but honestly, it was Friday morning - the office was lucky I didn't show up in tracky bots). Technically, I suppose because he'd looked at me while squinting through one dozy eye, he wasn't even asleep.

That's all for today. A bit of a rubbish first post, especially as there are loads of great things he's said in his sleep before, none of which I can remember right now. He's away for a week so I'll have nowt else to say for a while.

Strewth, I can tell this is going to be a fascinating blog.